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 Tybalt Dixon(WIP)

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Tybalt Dixon

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Join date : 2014-06-10

PostSubject: Tybalt Dixon(WIP)   Mon Jul 07, 2014 6:37 pm

Name: Tybalt Dixon

Title: "Gambit"

Age: 20

Origin World: Based off X-Men comics from Marvel

Family: All deceased

Residence: Apartment Building

Alignment: Neutral(Undecided)

Personality: Tybalt has a laid-back demeanor, and is an easy person overall. He is not one to get into fights.....Hell, he won't get into anything unless he thinks it is a good idea.

Appearance: 5'11 to 6'1, on the skinnier side.
Tybalt Dixon:
 

Abilities:
 

Pets: None

Quotes: "I'll kill you!", "It's late/early, and I'm starving, and I need food before I can decide."

Theme song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=Q4UTKk5eF1c


Background: Tybalt was raised on solid ground, on the streets. He joined a vicious street gang. He mainly focused on being a thieving bilge rat. He stole from department stores, ATMs, you name it. After three years, he decided to leave and do his own thing. Then he entered an underground Magic shop where he learned how to manipulate Kinetic energy. Afterwards, he got two decks of cards, sixty each. He was told to always come back whenever he needed new cards. So out he went, looking for his place in the world.

Any Credit: X-Men by Marvel Comics

Stat Allocation

Atk: 15
Def: 20
Magic DMG: 45
Magic Resist: 10
Speed: 30
Perception: 30
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Idris



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PostSubject: Re: Tybalt Dixon(WIP)   Tue Jul 08, 2014 10:49 pm

Denied. While I haven't yet read the background and other semantics, your abilities are already falling short. First, being adept in combat does not increase physical brawn. The +20 Strength should if anything, be +10 Perception. Secondly, Kinetic Energy is a force of momentum. That in itself requires incredible power, as you can literally stop any physical attack simply by standing there and sucking out the momentum, and force it back. So, replace it as a Devastator with a three post lasting time and six post cool down, but is automatically reset after one use. If it's reset before the three posts are over, the cool down is decreased by two. Secondly, your Agility simply says it makes move faster. You have to define how much it increases your speed. In actuality, the concept of agility is within your base stats and shouldn't be labeled as a skill, but it'll be let pass. Also. Flash Step just says it makes you use faster. When manipulating the Kinetic energy in your body, it will act as a magnetic force within your body. Saying simply, it will add a fraction of your movement to every move. For every +10 Speed added to your body, add another +5, maxed out at +40 Speed, meaning you'll have +60 Speed. Also, don't call it Flash Step. That's Bleach, bro.

As for the card grenades. Too under defined. You have to explain how many cards you can throw in a post. I suggest eight max, to intertwine with your fingers. You can't take a single post to just throw out 30 cards. A single post is usually a time span of 20-30 seconds in reality. Second, I suggest making is -10 Defense PER card grenade hit. As for the Reversal, Kinetic energy is a result of a physical force. Meaning it can't hinder magic. However, since this is a magical world, it can be let go. You can't stop the magic itself, but if a magic attack is sent at you, you can stop its momentum and have it drop to the floor.

As for the cards, make it +40 each card, but the cards must stay in the formation summoned. Such as a ring around the user. Also, Card Burst is essentially the same thing as Grenades, but you're just roflcopter tossing them around. So fix them the same.

I ALSO WANT TO POINT OUT TWO THINGS. One, your card based attacks are based on a deck of cards of... What 52-60 cards? You'e going to run out in seven posts. I suggest adding a passive that refreshes your cards every five posts. Second Omega Beam. Tybalt... The second you fire it, it's going to hit something. Like a wall, or the floor if you immediately miss. Meaning it'll stop. Instantly. ...Yeah.
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